A year to reflect...

And one I want to forget..well part of it....parts beyond my control have changed my life...

I have been separated for 7 years ..not by choice and silly me thought there was a glimmer of hope we would get back together one day..

That day will never come now... He has hurt me to much over the last 4 months more than I could ever imagine...

Its hard to hear the words.. "I don't love you " and "I've met someone" and lies ... virtually all in one go... It hurts ...

So in the course of these months I now have arrangements under way for me to buy him out of the house... Big and scary move for me..

I also started work full time in May, perfect timing in a way.. .also hard to leave the kids alone in school holidays.. But I'm grateful I have a job and hoping it will lead to some sort of security for me.. I have lost my "back up " person...

I also have to make visitation times with him with the kids.. That's the hardest thing to do... I had them to be with me/us .not to spend time at dads place...

Kids are finding it hard, seb especially , mad is not "caring"... Hard to also
See your kids hurt.

I am now titled "separated" not a word I thought I would ever associate myself with..

I hate the thought of someone else in the kids lives, and in his...

I hate that this is none of my choice and I'm dealing with banks, lawyers, upset kids, my hatred for him, being hurt by him... And alone...all things
I never wanted to be or do...

It's hard to wish him happiness right now.. I don't... i can't.. .I would like him to turn around in 6 mnths time and realize what a huge mistake he has made and feel the way I do right now...

Tonight I'm not the best ...it's final, it's goodbye....

I have to start Jan 1st 2013 as a new day , a new year , an independent single mum, home owner and care taker /provider for my 2 wonderful loves of my life..and show them we will be ok, I will be ok.. Mum can do it...

So good bye 2012 and goodbye Jon xxx

Welcome 2013 with all the wonderful adventures and great things that will come into our lives....


P.s...any single, no baggage, semi rich, hunky guys who read this..email me ...lol..

Lee-Ann xx

Not a bad job if I do say so...

Seb wanted to use every piece of his car racing track..so after piecing and re-piecing it all together we were left with 3 pieces... Not bad for a mum who had never set up a racing track before...







Lee-Ann xx

more photos...

Santa has been....

Kids were awake at 6.30 and here I was thinking they would sleep in..












My 2 very special loves.....








My table & floor after the annual popper games....
We were all spoilt and have eaten way too much as usual...

Lee-Ann xx

Christmas baking and stitching...

Thought I better get into the Christmas spirit and make the gingerbread men the kids have been wanting to make and decorate...











The one with the overload of M&M's is Mads.. Surprise , surprise. :-)
Also the squeezy bottles with the icing tips were a gift from Coral and the most wondeful things..so easy, clean and cute to use..

Also made these overnight minted meringues..you make them and put them in a pre heated oven , then turn it off and leave overnight...







This afternoon , I'm on to shortbreads...

I haven't stitched anything for the last few months..lost my mojo..but I have kitted up this cute little limited edition JN gingerbread mouse.



The fab 4 weekend in Nov, these were released, think we timed the arrival of the email with us up late talking. Within 5 mins of looking at it, we had ordered 4.. Yes we are pathetic..lol but we have done the gingerbread scissor keep..so we had to have this too..

Then I saw CCN releasing a monthly series of christmas houses ..






Coral and I are doing them, we both brought the fabric and didn't like it, Coral came up with the idea of doing it on an afghan..
So her search was on... After numerous ideas , she found an afghan in her Aladdin's cave of stash..lol
It was big enough for 2 ..so I received this yesterday and it's already to go..she even sent me instructions on what to do..afghan wise and tacked the edges for me...



I need to get back to doing things I love to do and it might just take my mind of all the other "stuff"..

I need to realize I have 2 healthy wonderful children, I'm healthy have a good job, we have a roof over our heads, food on the table, so it's not all doom and gloom.. I am grateful for what I/we have...

Lee-Ann xx

High tea...

At the Langham with my 3 best friends...

The night before I had my work Christmas party..getting home at 1.45am to greet Seb getting up to watch a soccer game, then having 1/2 hr sleep before Mad gets gastro... Not a good nights sleep..lol
Then I wasnt going to high tea as I didnt want to spread germs..but the 3 most wonderful girls..Helen coral & lissy convinced me I should..and I did and glad I did.

I've had a crap few months and needed a girlie day out, Helen shouted us as a thank you for her crappy year last year...lol I think I might be shouting them a trip to Paris the way I'm going. :-)

But it was a wonderful day, shopping eating and letting it all out with 3 friends...




Some one is very excited with her lemon tart...

















And to finish it off.....




Lee-Ann xx

something to think about ..

especially for me rght now ... Everything Happens for a Reason Sometimes people come into your life and you know right way that they are meant to be there. They serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be, your roommate, your neighbor, professor, long lost friend, lover or even a complete stranger. When you lock eyes with them, you know that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way. And sometimtes things happen to you and at that time they seem horrible, painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming these obstacles you would never have realized your poetntial, strength, willpower of heart. Every thin happens for a a reason - Nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments or true greatness or sheer stupidity all occur to lest the limits of the soul. Without these small test, if they be events, illnesses or relationships, life would be like a smooth paved straight flat road, to
nowhere. safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless. The people you meet affect your life and successes and downfalls you experience; they are the ones who create who you are. Even the bad experiences can be learned from - those are the hardest and probably the most important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart...
forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love and opening your heart and eyes... to things that you would have never seen or felt without them. Make every day count. Appreciated every moment and take from it all that you can, for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people you have never talked to before, actually listen. let yourself fall in love, break free and set your sights high. You can mnake of your life anything you wish. Create your life and go ut and live it. I wish you all the best in your endeavors as well as in struggles in life. Have a fighting spirit and never hesitate to get back into the struggle. Author Unknown

I need to follow some of this ... 2013 is going be my year and all the crap from the last 5 months will be over ...fingers crossed .. i never knew someone could hurt me so much by their actions..but i have
decided to take control of what I can control, and forget the rest ...
The main thing is I am happy and my 2 children are too ...so come on 2013 with new adventures for me ... whatever it may be ... and let there be some great ones ...