And one I want to forget..well part of it....parts beyond my control have changed my life...
I have been separated for 7 years ..not by choice and silly me thought there was a glimmer of hope we would get back together one day..
That day will never come now... He has hurt me to much over the last 4 months more than I could ever imagine...
Its hard to hear the words.. "I don't love you " and "I've met someone" and lies ... virtually all in one go... It hurts ...
So in the course of these months I now have arrangements under way for me to buy him out of the house... Big and scary move for me..
I also started work full time in May, perfect timing in a way.. .also hard to leave the kids alone in school holidays.. But I'm grateful I have a job and hoping it will lead to some sort of security for me.. I have lost my "back up " person...
I also have to make visitation times with him with the kids.. That's the hardest thing to do... I had them to be with me/us .not to spend time at dads place...
Kids are finding it hard, seb especially , mad is not "caring"... Hard to also
See your kids hurt.
I am now titled "separated" not a word I thought I would ever associate myself with..
I hate the thought of someone else in the kids lives, and in his...
I hate that this is none of my choice and I'm dealing with banks, lawyers, upset kids, my hatred for him, being hurt by him... And alone...all things
I never wanted to be or do...
It's hard to wish him happiness right now.. I don't... i can't.. .I would like him to turn around in 6 mnths time and realize what a huge mistake he has made and feel the way I do right now...
Tonight I'm not the best ...it's final, it's goodbye....
I have to start Jan 1st 2013 as a new day , a new year , an independent single mum, home owner and care taker /provider for my 2 wonderful loves of my life..and show them we will be ok, I will be ok.. Mum can do it...
So good bye 2012 and goodbye Jon xxx
Welcome 2013 with all the wonderful adventures and great things that will come into our lives....
P.s...any single, no baggage, semi rich, hunky guys who read this..email me ...lol..
Lee-Ann xx
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6 comments:
Wishing you and the kids a wonderful 2013!
Wishing you and your kids all the best for a great New Year:)
Lee-Ann, I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. Stay strong and you will survive this.
Sorry to hear that you are having to deal with this. You sound very positive about the future and you can do it!!!
I hope you and the kids have a great year ahead and that Jon does realise what he is missing. xx
I'm so sorry Lee-Ann, I can feel your pain in your post. It's hard to believe it's been that long and that he doesn't want to be with you - he's the one missing out. Let the past go, let him go and be free. Maybe, just maybe, if he does come crawling back, you'll have met that semi rich, hunky, single, no baggage guy and he can be the one feeling rejected. Here's to a better 2013!
Thank you all for your kind and appreciated comments... We will be ok..I will be ok...
Xxxx
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